Day 5

My veins are thick and waterlogged in the wake of your storm, and I’ve been wringing your good intentions from the folds of my soggy hands since the night you kissed me on my doorstep and I watched your boots stamp heavy footprints on the rain-soaked sidewalk. Even your tortured reflection that danced — twisting and writhing — in the mirror at your feet, wished it had never met you.

Day 4: My City Is An Island

Sometimes I feel like I’m stranded on a concrete island in a sea of grass. To the East, a full tank of gas will get me to Oklahoma City. To the West, it will get me to Santa Fe. On days like today, my car becomes a vessel of freedom, and my heart becomes a compass, pointing me onward.

It’s not that I’m unhappy here. I have no reason to be unhappy, but for some reason, my happiness feels shallow, like craving a lungful of air but getting a dozen quick, short breaths instead. I need more.

“You’re a battleship in a fishing village,” a man told me once, and I cried because I wanted to believe him so badly. “You reek of fish,” he said.

Lately I've been feeling something I can only describe as homesickness. I want to go home, but I don’t know where home is. I've been praying for God to send me to the place where I can throw down my anchor. He hasn't told me where that is yet, but I have a feeling it's just over the horizon. 

Day 3: Peacemaker

Lately I've been learning to fight my own battles. As a peacemaker by nature, it's not an easy lesson.

I'm an aunt! ...Again :)

My new niece, Hadleigh Kate, entered the world at 3:51 this morning! Does that mean she'll be a morning person? Everyone else gets to be there, except me (boo!), so I've been bombarding my family texts, trying to find out more info and pictures. All I've gotten so far is that she's 5 lbs. 10 oz. and healthy, everything went well, and my fam is hanging out with her now. Lucky!

After a little pestering, my daddy sent me these pictures...

Isn't she precious!? Look at her sweet little cheeks! Can't want to see her in a couple of weeks!

I'll give updates as they come. In the mean time, I'll be at work... working... while everyone else is at the hospital playing with babies. Not jealous at all.

1001 colors in Santa Fe

Someone told me Santa Fe is a place for black and white photography, and it's true there are textures and patterns everywhere you look in the beautiful southwestern city. But after spending the weekend peering through a viewfinder in Santa Fe, I have to disagree. If the culture in Santa Fe is its source of life, then the art in Santa Fe is the flush in its cheeks. Santa Fe does more than exist. It's a place where beauty thrives. I feel it would do a disservice to the city, and the people who give it life, to bleed it of its vibrancy.

  

 

 

...to be continued.

Remember

Remember that night on the docks?
When time held its breath,
And the water's glassy stare
Reflected the blood red sky.
Remember when I took you there
With a tiny weapon in my pocket?
And I watched you choke
On your own mistakes.
Remember you cried?
And you said the tears were for me,
But the only truth in your tears
Was the water,
And the salt.
There was no real remorse
Falling from the brooding dark
Of your eyes.
Remember you threw your letter
Down at my feet?
A letter to tempt me,
But it was only words --
Words that spilled like ridges in the sand,
Footprints left by troubled waters.
Remember I told you,
I would not be bound to you,
By the weight of a single chain around my finger.
Remember when words
Were your heaviest weapon?
But your words were only paper and ink,
That night on the docks.

boxing up yellow memories

I sit on my bedroom floor, staring at the boxes and the chaos that will soon be packed neatly into them. I wish I could compartmentalize myself like that. This is the happy memories box, and this is my cry box, this is the scary-angry-things-go-here box – it may seem small, but don’t be deceived. But no, I’d say my heart looks more like the chaos that’s strewn about my room, hanging from my bed, piled in the corners. When I came off to school, I think I was searching for stability – something solid I could depend on. But stability just wasn’t in the cards for me. Today the same boxes are out, waiting to be filled with all my most precious belongings, and in a few years they’ll most likely be sitting in a similar state on the floor of my new “home.” A part of me likes it this way – the restless part of me that craves adventure. But another part of me is exhausted, and just wants rest. We never want what we have, do we? At least I know I don’t. Maybe that’s because I don’t really know what I want. Or maybe I do, but I don’t know where to find it – so I keep searching.

I think I’ll miss this room the most. The people who came and went from this room – they felt the most like home to me. I certainly never missed Chitwood. And Knapp, even though it was comfortable, it always felt temporary. But this room, I put too much of myself into this room not to miss it. The amateur artwork and photography on the walls – it all goes into the boxes. Ready to go. But to where?

I told God: I’ll go where He wants me to go, and I’ll do what He wants me to do. But how do I know what that is? Everybody has a different answer, a different way of “hearing” God’s voice. Some people say, just take a step of faith and trust that God will make it happen. Some say, go wherever the open door is. Some say, don’t trust your feelings; go where God leads you. But where is God leading me?

This room, it reminds me of yellow. The memories I have here – they all seem to be cast in a honey-colored hue. Wherever I go next, wherever God takes me, I hope it feels yellow, too.

It's a Wonderful (college) Life.

In the name of nostalgia, I am making a list of all my favorite Texas Tech memories. If you remember more memories that aren't in here (cuz there's a LOT), comment them :)

-The "Sixth Floor Boys," and all their shenanigans :)
-Dropping water balloons on the smokers, and then blaming it on the 4th floor.
-Sling-shooting a balloon out the Clement window and breaking the window of the building next door.
-Daniel "crowd-surfing" into the bushes,
-Climbing on the statues and the cops coming! And then when the cop asked Daniel why he was climbing on the statue, Daniel replied, "Cause I was in a good mood!" Oh and that same night, -Daniel was carrying that stupid brick around and the cops made him take it back to where he got it, hahaha.
-Playing Frisbee in the park
-Playing in the rain that time campus flooded and classes were canceled.
-Two-stepping in Ian's dorm room
-Daniel getting a lock-picking kit off the internet... and learning how to use it... haha
-Meg always telling us what she ate every single day, haha (I love you Meg! But I'm glad you eat like a normal human being now :)
-Water gun fights in the halls of Chitwood
-Elisha and Chey :)
-The stupid dart game
-The time Chey smashed my face into my mashed potatoes, "Smashed potatoes!"
-The time me and Chey went clubbing and that guy wouldn't leave Chey alone, so we told him we were lesbian and he got lost pretty quickly, haha!
-Me and Elisha being Easter Bunnies and hiding Easter eggs all over campus.
-Face-planting in Memorial Circle... yeah...
-FOOTBALL GAMES!
-Pretty much the whole UT game: Waiting in line ALL DAY, painting my hair red, the amazing catch and hugging complete strangers afterwards.
-And then, seeing that drunk guy get hit my an SUV after the UT game when we were walking home... it's okay! He didn't die!
-Dressing up like "Sky Pirates" with Elisha.
-Chey's mystery box. She always got a white one and me and Elisha always got black ones, and we thought it was the craziest thing until we realized it was just because she got a larger portion size than we did.
-Chey hiding in my closet and scaring the crap out of me: "There were shoes in my closet and I didn't know whose, and that's when I saw there were feet in those shoes!"
-Stealing trays from the Market and sledding down the hill by the Spirit Arena.
-My first-year prayer group :) Lauren Gilland, Loren Hill, Melanie Barker, Courney Kastner, Erin Duvall and Emily Hamill
-Amazing Phi Lamb parties: Dr. Pepper Date Party, BYX raves, Noah's Ark Party, whatever that gangster party was when I dressed up like Weezy and put all that nasty goop in my hair to make dreadlocks...gross! haha
-Lauren Gilland telling that guy off at the pool: "I am not your sweetheart!"
-Me and Lauren dancing ALL NIGHT LONG and the BYX Rave :) For real, we didn't stop until they kicked us out.
-Getting hit on with the sugar packet "You dropped your name tag" pick-up line, haha :)
-Walking to Spoonfuls with Erin and Emily, and our long girl-talks :)
-Emily and her adorable obsession with Disney, haha
-Rooming with Katharine and all that entails: dancing around being crazy, cranking up the heat to ridiculous levels, sleeping with the windows open and listening to the rain.
-Me and Kat's spur-of-the-moment drive-in date to go see Twilight, and then accidentally saying the F-word.... (it was a complete accident and I apologized profusely!)
-And then that other time we almost got kicked out of the drive-in for sneaking into another theater instead of staying in the one we paid for, but we faked the guy out and later he came looking for us with a flashlight. But that's another story for another time... :)
-The time that girl set off the fire alarms in Horn-Knapp and the cops came because apparently she was smoking pot in the bathrooms... super smart.
-Midnight Worship in Memorial Circle
-Almost getting run over by that guy at Midnight Worship... also another story for another time.
-My little brother coming to Texas Tech and just being a total goofball with him.
-My and Ri's long nighttime walks
-Taking pictures with all of my friends :)
-Erin getting engaged and me and Emily getting to be a part of it!

International Talent Show at Texas Tech

(Above) Three girls from Sri Lanka getting ready for the International Talent Show.


Girls from Taiwan pause from adjusting their outfits to pose for a picture.


A line of women adorning color outfits wait for the fashion show to kick off the International Talent Show.


Girls strut down the aisle to the beat of Lady Gaga.


Manuel Nunez Pantoja plays the guitar and sings a traditional Peruvian love song to represent Peru in the talent show.

Performers from Spain practice backstage.
(Pictures taken by Brittany Nunn at the International Talent Show held at Texas Tech University)
____________________________________________________________________

Lubbock Sees the World In One Night

(by Brittany Nunn)

Men and women of all shapes, sizes and shades of color crowded the Student Union Building on Feb. 12 as almost two hundred students bustled about in preparation for the International Talent Show.

The lobby area by the Allen Theatre was buzzing with activity. The deep drone of voices rose and fell steadily as people from every corner of the earth conversed noisily with one another in their native tongues. Their voices were accompanied by the soft swishing of fabric and the merry tickling of tiny, ornamental bells, which hung from articles of clothing or pieces of jewelry.

Students, adorned from head-to-toe in vibrant colors, adjusted and re-adjusted exotic garments, occasionally stopping to pose with teammates while friends and family members snapped pictures to mark the occasion.

Throughout the room, students talked and laughed excitedly with one another. Some groups began warming up by practiced their routines.

Off to the side of the room, three young women from Sri Lanka, each dressed-to-match in a bold orange outfit called an “osarai,” a type of sari worn by Sri Lankan women, helped each other apply eye makeup.

The women would be singing and dancing to represent their country in the talent show.

They explained that the talent show was a great opportunity for them to show their Sri Lankan traditions to Tech students and other members of the audience.

Julia Mainini, the director of the International Talent Show, said the talent show was comprised of 171 students who are studying abroad at Texas Tech University.

“The goal is to connect international students together, and also American students with international students, here at Texas Tech,” Mainini said.

Mainini, who moved to the United States from France in 2006 to get her master’s degree at the University of Oklahoma, said she drew inspiration for the show from her own experiences as an international student.

“It’s true that when you are abroad, away from home in another country that speaks a different language, it is difficult,” Mainini said. “You kind of want to create your own network and your own family.”

When she came to work at Tech, Mainini saw there was potential for her to create an opportunity for international students at Tech to network with one another, ultimately giving them the chance to create their own “home away from home.”

The talent show, Mainini explained, was an effort of American and international students working together. She said it was amazing to see the world coming together in Lubbock to put on a great show, and she hoped it would be the beginning of an enthusiastic movement towards peace and a mutual love of the world.

“There’s a lot of love between all of the students. All the students are away from home, away from their families, and giving them a chance to get together and celebrate their differences and their culture, really will help them improve their life here at Texas Tech.” Mainini said. “As well as, they’re really, really enthusiastic about sharing everything they’ve grown up with –their culture, their language, the way they dress, the way they dance – with all the Americans here at Texas Tech.”

As show time approached, the Allen Theatre began to steadily fill with guests. Shortly after 7 p.m., the lights dimmed, and a hush to fell over the crowd. Mainini entered the stage, offering a warm welcome to the audience, and then Ambassador Tibor Nagy, the vice provost of the Office of International Affairs, was invited to the stage for a short speech.

After the introductions, music began to play over the loud speakers and the audience watched as men and women filed into the room, walking swiftly to the beat of the music. They were dressed in colorful, traditional clothing, which they modeled for the audience by strutting across the stage and stopping once at the center to strike a playful pose before going on.

After the fashion show, The Rainbow Kids kicked off the talent show with a song. As the children of international Texas Tech alumni, employees and students, Mainini said the group of eleven children represented the future of Tech.

In about two hours, more than a dozen countries were represented in the International Talent Show.

The groups varied in size from a single performer to dozens of members on stage at a time. Performers danced, sang or played musical instruments to represent their country and the traditions of their culture.

One group staged a wedding ceremony, another danced a choreographed hip-hop number, and another performed a traditional love song. Three performances were done by individual performers.

Manuel Nunez Pantoja, a solo performer representing Peru, sang “Yo Perdi El Corazon” and played the guitar.

“I was freaken nervous,” he said afterwards, laughing.

Pantoja said he learned to play traditional Peruvian songs after he moved to the United States. He said he was excited about playing in the talent show because he loves traditional things, which he said he has gotten the opportunity to see a lot more of since he has come to Tech.

At the end of the show, Mainini once again took the stage to thank the audience and wish them a wonderful night. The crowd responded with a loud applause, cheering their heartfelt gratitude to the performers.

True Confessions from an Adult-In-Training

Sometimes
brittanydanielle

Sometimes I do nothing, say nothing
To no one.
I want to be nothing –
To have no home.
Then others, to say everything, to be someone’s someone –
A small space in time,
I can claim as my own.

I merge with the crowd,
Fighting all regulation.
Soon – with no destination –
We’ll fly free and strong.
I’m fighting a war I’m not sure I believe in,
And winning at losing.
Of that, I am sure.

My life – like the wind –
Has no rhyme or reason.
I shift at my will, and I go as I please.
At times, I bring warmth, clear skies and seasons,
At others, I’m turmoil,
Bringing storms from the seas.


I went shopping the other day for a suit. Yeah, haha, a suit. Holy. Cows. No lie, I thought I was going to have a panic attack in the dressing room. No amount of schooling could ever prepare you for that moment. In fact, no one even warns you about it. Or at least, no one warned me. It's still all so crazy to me. When I put it on, it feels like stepping out of myself and into an adult's body. I don't feel like myself in it yet, but it's weird knowing that when other people see me they don't know I don't feel like myself. But I am myself, just another part of myself I've never been before. It's a new part of me that I haven't discovered yet; it's waiting to be discovered, grown into. Although, I have to ask: why black? Why are colors like black, grey and brown the official mark of adulthood? At what point does the world snuff vibrant colors out of your life? I mean, what is black? Black is the absence of color, it's darkness, it's death, it's a void. Happy thought, I know. Haha, maybe I can just stay in college forever?

Alright enough of that. I have mixed feelings about graduating actually. I'm really nervous and really excited all at once. I'm nervous for the reason mentioned above, and I'm also nervous about the responsibilities that come with being an adult. But I'm really excited about journalism, and finally getting to do what I've been learning. Everyone keeps asking me where I want to go after I graduate. I like the idea of getting out of Texas for a while. I love Texas and really hope to come back here eventually, but I just feel like I need to live somewhere else. The world's a huge and fascinating place; it'd be a shame for me not to get to see some of it. And when will I ever have this chance again? Out-of-state, out-0f-country; I'm up for anything at this point. A little adventure sounds fun to me.

I've really been craving adventure lately. Some days I just want to drop everything and go find my adventure, where ever, whatever it may be. I want to be completely reckless and irresponsible. I want to experience things, do things, try things I've never tried before. The problem is I get all of these crazy ideas of all these adventurous things I want to do, and I don't know what I'm actually supposed to do, so I don't do any of it. I keep asking God what He wants me from me; I'm here, I'm ready, I'm waiting. But I guess I just have to keep trusting. I know He has something for me, just around the corner, I just don't know what it is yet. And in a way, it's almost fun not knowing. It's like putting on a blindfold and telling God, "Surprise me."